The Harriton Banner

The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

Moore did not seem pleased after the game.

Moore did not seem pleased after the game.

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






On Saturday, November 12th, it is rumored that the Boise State University football team lost a game to the TCU Horned Frogs. This remains unconfirmed despite the best efforts of Banner reporters.

“I don’t get it!” said Science/Tech Editor Holden McGinnis. “It appears that regulation ended with TCU leading by one point, but no one can tell who won!” Past history indicates that almost all collegiate level games have ended with the leading team being declared the winner, but higher logic argues that Boise State may have survived their Saturday night scare.

McGinnis continued: “I ran some numbers and it turns out Boise State has won 100% of their home games the past ten years. Obviously they couldn’t have lost today; that would defy logic.”

The press swarmed to Broncos coach Chris Petersen after the game looking for some sort of clarity, but Petersen merely stated, “Did you know that if a couple teams in front of us lose, we’ll play for the national championship? Boise State! In the national championship! My golly.”

Boise’s star quarterback Kellen Moore was no more helpful, as he refused to leave midfield asking for the referees to consult the rulebook. “This has never happened before!” said Moore, who has amassed the most wins in NCAA history during his career. “I think we were losing when the clock hit zero. What happens next? Do we go to overtime?”

Moore did not seem pleased after the game.

The issue quickly swept the nation as several analysts shared their opinion on the game. Lee Corso, esteemed head of College Football Live, went into a long-winded sonnet that sang the praises of the Broncos program before declaring TCU the winner. Lou Holtz of ESPN even chipped in, proclaiming, “I think Notre Dame won.”

Former Boise State kicker Kyle Brotzman had a different take. “You guys are being really dumb. Obviously we won the game,” Brotzman brazenly asserted. “Trust me, when it comes to important games I’m always right.”

We sent several Banner staff writers to the state of Boise last night to investigate the matter, but we have yet to hear word of their arrival.

UPDATE: The loss was confirmed thanks to resident football expert John Madden, who analyzed the situation as such: “When you don’t score more points than the other team, you usually lose the game. Football!”

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Leave a Comment

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




*

Navigate Left
  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Arts & Entertainment

    Review: “Five-Star Getaway”

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Harriton News

    Spotlight on: Girls Tennis x Mackenzie Sherman

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Opinion

    American Silence on the Murder of Jamal Khashoggi Is a Direct Blow to Democracy

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Science & Tech

    Viral Diseases: The Epidemics We All Hate

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Harriton News

    Harriton Girls’ Tennis Wins the PIAA State Championship

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Science & Tech

    Let’s Do Some Homework… on Homework

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Harriton News

    Ram of the Week: Zach Schulman

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Opinion

    Remembering a President

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Harriton News

    Teachers Can Be Musicians, Too!

  • The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game

    Opinion

    Marijuana Legalization: The Right Choice or a Terrible Mistake?

Navigate Right
The School Newspaper of Harriton High School
The Ryan King: BREAKING: Boise State Loses a Football Game