I have only been writing a year for The Banner but I love it. I love it so much, in fact, that I wish I had done it all my years at Harriton. But, since I did not, I thought I would leave some extra headlines to make up for all the years I spent sleeping on The Banner.

“Spirit Week Cancelled After Onezie Incident Ruins Pajama Day”

“Freshman Finds Third Floor Pool; Everyone Else Feels Silly”

“New 1:4 Initiative Provides Every Student One Laptop, Ipad, Pager and Zune”

“Harriton Christens New ‘Lebron James’ Gym in an Effort to Upstage LM”

“Athletic Office Cuts Budget to Finance Elite Four-Way Volleyball Team”

“New Better 1:1 Initiative Provides Every Student with Ironman Suit”

“Sleep the Only Loser in Storied AP vs. IB War”

“New Class Taught Exclusively on TED Talks Becomes Most Popular”

“Stock Market Crashes; Breakfast Table Muffins Sell for Unprecedented $0.75”

Future Banner writers, you are welcome. Future students, I told you so.