Six Things To Know About… The Cafeteria

The new principal will meet a school of hundreds of students next year.

The new principal will meet a school of hundreds of students next year.

1. We have a microwave. I didn’t know this until my junior year, but having the ability to heat up food is a game changer. No longer must you settle for cold pizza or lukewarm soup. The addition of a microwave to your lunchtime routine opens up a whole new realm of yummy options.

2. There is a one-way flow of traffic. Unless you want to test your sneaking abilities against the watchful eyes of the campus security, don’t try to walk into the food court through the cash register lines. You need to walk around through the open doors near the gym. When watching from a lunch table, you can sometimes see students making this crucial mistake.

3. If you buy a full meal, the price goes down. I know it sounds strange, but the cafeteria actually gives you a discount for buying more food. This is their way of incentivizing students to eat fruits and vegetables. By adding a pack of apples and a carton of milk to your piece of pizza, you’ll actually save money.

4. Clean up after yourself – don’t make the principal do it. At the end of Lunch and Learn, a few tables are always littered with trash. Along with the janitors, Dr. Eveslage is often the person who cleans up. Don’t be the person who makes the Assistant Superintendent pick up used napkins and half-eaten pieces of pizza.

5. Don’t rush to the cafeteria. I know that by 10:32 everyone is starving, but if you just wait ten minutes before trying to buy lunch, the food court will no longer be completely packed. It is never fun to have tomato sauce accidentally spilt on your shirt. If you wait just a few minutes, this will never happen to you, and you’ll get through the lines quicker. It’s not as if all the best food goes first (except on sushi Thursdays).

6. Pick your seat strategically. The most important aspect of picking a seat is avoiding the sun. This isn’t to say that you want to avoid sunlight, but don’t select a seat where you will be staring into the sun. Even a great conversation can’t make up for all the squinting you’ll be doing, and it’s hard to grab a new seat once you’ve sat down. Don’t put yourself in the position of having sun in your eyes for half an hour. Learn from my mistakes!