If you are a junior, congratulations! You are most likely about to go through the most emotionally draining process of your life thus far. Though, for some, that may be a gross exaggeration, that description might easily apply to the others! The college application process is rough, and you will probably cry at least once (or if you are a mess of a person like me, you will cry way more than that).  Now that I am officially enrolled at the University of North Carolina for next year, I have been reflecting a lot on the past nine months, and I am really starting to take issue with how we go about the college process.

I, and probably most seniors, could write a novel about my thoughts on college admissions. To save you from my mindless ranting though, I will narrow it down to the issues I take with terms we use, starting with “safety school.” I wish I had not thrown this around as often and as casually as I did. Do not get me wrong; you should apply to schools you are confident you can get into. However, it is pretty insensitive to publicly talk about a college as a safety. For all you know, your “safety” is a “reach” for the guy sitting behind you. I wish I had realized this earlier because college is stressful as it is, and nobody needs the added stress of feeling inadequate.

In November, I believed that I would be a failure if I ended up at one of my safety schools. However, in March, I visited one of my “safety schools” and absolutely loved it. My final decision came down to the “safety” and UNC, not because those were my only two choices, but because I genuinely loved both schools. I think if we remove the stigma of a safety school, people will be more open to exploring all college options.

And that brings me to the next issue: defining your “dream school.”  We have this mindset that our dream school is the best college we have a shot of getting into and will, thus, bring us the most success. Here is the problem with that: the schools we choose are extremely hard to get into. When we label them as our dream schools, and we do not get in, there is more than just average disappointment.

I am not trying to discourage people from applying to selective schools, because you never know what can happen! However, defining your dream school by selectivity causes a narrow mindset that can often lead to disappointment. In my case, I was deferred and eventually rejected from my so called “dream school.” Of course I was disappointed, but I could care less about it anymore. I called it my dream school because it was the most prestigious college in my favorite city, and it was a sunny day when I visited.

Besides, would I really have been any happier attending my “dream school” over UNC? I highly doubt it. I probably would have been in a much more competitive atmosphere, and I would have had to work hard all the time just to keep up with those around me. Everything worked out just as it was supposed to, and I would not have it any other way. So juniors, do not define yourself by these two crippling terms. You might miss out on a lot of great schools if you restrict yourself to such a narrow mindset. Remember that your dream school is the one where you think you will be the happiest, not the hardest one you can get into.