BREAKING NEWS: The Fourth Floor Pool is Real!
Using satellite technology, The Harriton Banner has discovered a photograph of the long-shrouded-in-myth-fourth-floor pool. Ever since Harriton’s doors reopened in 2009, freshmen have asked, “Where is the pool?” This formerly joking question now has a real answer.
A Banner writer, Ricky Sayer, recently found the pool. He explained, “I was just using the history feature on Google Earth to try to look back to the 1500s, to see if the Tombs [the quad of Harriton’s old campus] really were an ancient Indian burial ground. I was saddened to see that the feature would only let me look back to 1992.”
Discouraged, Ricky gave up his search and looked forward in time. “And so, as I was sliding the bar back to present time, I noticed a blue rectangular object on top of the school.” Ricky sent a screenshot to Banner editors, who were able to verify the image.
Upon further inspection we learned that the pool was only visible in a satellite photo taken in 2009. The question “Why can’t the pool be seen today?” then arose. It turns out the pool was covered in 2010 by a cream-colored tarp. Asked for an explanation, the administration replied, “No comment.”
We also contacted a custodian who was observed carting pool-cleaning supplies. He prefers to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation from the people who use the pool.
When we asked him how to get up to the fourth floor pool in the first place, he told us, “You have to use a secret stairwell [stairwell S-5] that is next to the trainer’s room and back entrance to the school. You take that to the roof on top of the gym. From there, you go up a ladder on the side of Ms. Stabert’s room, and you’re there.”
We confirmed the existence of both the ladder and the stairwell by looking at detailed blueprints of the school from Mr. Lehman. Notably, the floor plan for the roof was missing.
The fourth floor pool is not rumor, but reality! Next time some excited freshman asks you if there is a pool and how to get to it, you can tell them, “Yes, there is a pool! It is on the fourth floor. Here is what you have to do…” Remember to remove the tarp before you jump in, and no diving. It is only four feet deep.