Those of us in 10th through 12th grade may have noticed a big change when they returned in September: Harriton High School has finally gotten lockers in the hallways, and the Harriton Banner is on the scene to report on this groundbreaking change.

We are aware that most Harriton students may not know what a “locker” is, and that changes like this can be scary. Dictionary.com defines a locker as “a person or thing that locks.” The first definition, however, is “a chest, drawer, compartment, closet, or the like, that may be locked, especially one at a gymnasium, school, etc. for storage and safekeeping of clothing and valuables.” But definitions are just meanings of words. The addition of lockers to Harriton’s halls means big change to the daily lives of Harriton’s students.

Hopes are high that students will take full advantage of this new lock-secure resource, and they seem excited to do so. However, just in case some of you out there are not sure how to best use this locked luxury, we’ve compiled a short list of uses for your new repository:

• Books. Have too many books, notebooks, folders, binders, and books? Well you’re in luck. You don’t have to carry them all around. Just keep all of your supplies and your backpack in your locker, go to class, and then ask to be excused to go to your locker to get your books for that class. Don’t worry your teachers won’t mind, probably.

• Valuables. Are you worried that you might lose your phone, wallet, or Zune? Are you upset because you’ve already lost your phone or wallet, or happy that you lost your Zune? Well it’s all in the past now. These new lockers will allow you to protect your hoard of valuables. Just make sure to actually close your locker, so that it locks, and don’t tape your locker combination to the front of your locker.

• Clothes. Many students struggle to eat a complete, nutritious breakfast and still get to school on time. Your locker can help you save time in the morning. Just keep several changes of clothes in your locker, and get dressed when you get to school. There aren’t any dressing rooms at Harriton yet, but only because there hasn’t been a need for them in the past. But that was all before these brand new, high-tech, painted lockers.
• Muffins. Are you just now realizing that the breakfast table has tighter rules on what you can buy and sell? Are you also realizing that you should have gotten a job this summer and are now strapped for cash? You’re in luck. The high demand for muffins and non-whole-grain candy will drive the price up, and you can be the first one to profit off of Harriton’s collective 9:00 AM starvation. You could spread the word about your black market by slipping notes into other students’ lockers. Although few people will ever see it.

• Hamsters. Gone are the days of having to lug around your family of hamsters, gerbils, and/or guinea pigs from class to class. Simply buy a hamster wheel locker insert (at any Office Depot or Petco), toss in some food pellets (also available at Office Depot) and you’ll be able to safely store your adorable little rodents in a safely locked box for 7 hours.

So far the feedback from students has been very positive and optimistic. Males and females of all ages seem thrilled to utilize their new resource. We at the banner, as well as the administrators, are confident that students will indeed use their lockers.