Tensions surrounding the whole grain issue are high and some Harriton students seem to be one celery stick away from an uproar. So what’s up with America’s newest health kick? Needless to say concerned parents have been bugging kids about nutrition for ages: “that’s the tenth time you’ve been to Wawa today!” “You can’t eat Chipotle for every meal”. Well of course we can, it is a free country. Oh wait….

Alas our healthy new diet is not the work of one of the traditional mainline moms but of some kind of mainline-mom/politician hybrid formally called Michelle Obama. The US Department of Agriculture, led by our first lady, implemented a new mandate regulating school nutrition.

The goal of the mandate is to reduce childhood obesity by providing more fruit, vegetable and whole grain options in school cafeterias. In addition it bands high sugar, high fat and high sodium foods from being sold in any public school cafeteria.

By reducing obesity in America, Mrs. Obama hopes to lower the need for health care in addition to stimulating young minds through means of healthy food choices.

As amazing as Michelle is, it’s hard to appreciate her progressive dietary plan at 7:30 in the morning when you are sure the only thing that will get you through the first three sets is a Costco muffin- heck you would probably even pay a dollar-fifty for it at this point.

Unfortunately, because of the breakfast table’s muffin-less state business has never been so slow.

The cross country team débuted the sugar free breakfast table this last week with a strong showing of whole grain baked goods, low calorie drinks and fruit. Regardless of XC’s healthiest efforts they ended the week with seven hundred dollar, a meager profit compared to the thousand plus dollars they raised last year.

Many students are abuzz with talk of underground sugars sales but be warned Harriton, such illegal activity is not being tolerated by Mr. Ferguson. The breakfast table was even shut down early during Cross Country’s sales for selling contraband.

When asked about the administration’s plan of action regarding the new, whole foods based Harriton, Mr. Ferguson stated that the administration is “going to follow the federal guidelines because that is the law. There have been already and there will be times when people bring in things that aren’t appropriate to sell at the breakfast table and we will tell them they need to remove it. It’s unfortunate, I know the kids are a little disappointed in the selection but we have to follow the law that’s given to us.”

Not all students are upset with the new healthy diet. Marisa Cohen, senior and health food enthusiast, was excited when hearing about the new dietary mandates. “I think that it’s a good thing,” says Cohen “whole grain doesn’t taste any worse then white bread and it’s significantly better for everyone.” So put down those fries and pick up a salad, Harriton, because a whole grain school is a happy school!

Though the breakfast table is being heavily regulated during school hours, no whole grain items are being sold after school. Bake sales are equally discouraged during school hours.

Long story short, if you get midday munchies for something sweet, you had better pack some cookies because the ones in the cafeteria are now low in sugar and whole grain!