The term “Glow-Up” has been around for as long as I’ve been alive. It’s a type of journey, a “transformation for the better.” However, people typically see this work as a physical transformation – whether you’re applying make-up and getting new clothes, or maybe even a haircut… but what about your mental health?
The last thing that’s thought of in a glow up, if at all, is mental transformation and how effective and important that may be to a person. Once you learn to level up your mental health, you’ll see your everyday-life improve drastically. So here are 10 ways to begin a mental glow-up.
- Take a break from Social Media
Because our generation is influenced almost entirely by social media, it’ll be difficult to put aside for a while. But look at it this way: social media is creating unrealistic expectations for beauty standards and other aspects of life. For example, advertising how people are always happy with their Porsches and Maseratis – it’s not real. A lot of the time, the lifestyles that are promoted online are dramatized and exaggerated. It is important to think that you don’t need what they have, so you can be happy and become the person you want to be, not what other people expect you to be. To compare aspects of your life with posts on Instagram, TikTok, and other social platforms puts you in a fantasy world. I hate to break it to you but… it doesn’t exist. Instead of trying to find happiness through living a false life, find things you want to do and that heal you.
- Stop Doubting/Comparing Yourself
Being born into this world is such a privilege. Everyone is living and existing separately from you while you are failing to realize how special you are; how marvelous it is that you are here on Earth, hat you are you. So, why you aspire to be someone else? Why be someone else when you can be yourself? Instead of changing yourself to be a completely new person, be a version of you that your inner child would be proud of. Comparing yourself to other people can destroy how you really want to be perceived. Educate yourself about your value and your potential because once you acknowledge your power, you’ll be unstoppable.
- Stop depending on other people to make you happy/learn to detach from people and situations
Don’t search for happiness from outside resources, specifically people. The happiness you’re looking for is already within you, you just have to nurture it. Let it grow. Be in the present moment and appreciate what you have – don’t have a mindset where you have to accomplish something to feel the happiness you can give yourself. Engage in activities that foster the growth of satisfaction within you. When you hold onto things that aren’t working, you’re delaying the pain for yourself instead of letting it go and finding peace.
To put this in real-life context, I have a friend who was in a ‘situationship’ where the partner would leave and come back, while also abruptly changing his personality: sweet and affectionate one minute, and cold and condescending the next. This made my friend really upset and confused. So, I told them that no matter how much effort you put into this and no matter how long you’ve been talking to them, if you’re noticing this treatment is bad or you’re simply not happy, don’t stay. The same goes for your company and work – if it’s not making you happy anymore, don’t stay.
- Bad things will pass
Don’t believe that because things in your life aren’t going the way you want them to that it’ll be like that for the rest of your life. Failure and heartbreak are your superpowers. When something bad happens in your life, you will hurt and you will mourn this; but it will pass. What you can derive from the negative experiences may be your greatest lesson. Everyone you’ve met has come into your life for a reason; they serve their purpose and then they leave. I was taught that nothing is permanent and that changes are necessary to help you grow. It is important to realize that the best things in your life have not happened yet. Life has never been linear.
- Identify what’s good for your heart, not your ego
When we become attached to other people, we begin to idolize them: their lifestyles, their personalities, their surroundings. We want what they have because we think it’ll make us happy – realize that’s your ego speaking, not you. If we think about this from the standpoint of love, you’ll realize that when you are able to assert your self-love and have the confidence you need, you can believe that the things you want – relationships, job opportunities, grades – will come to you. And they will. If you disguise your true self with a version of you – your ego – in an attempt to conform and ‘fit in’, then you won’t have the authentic outcomes you desire.
- Think with your mind, not your emotions
Every individual should learn to react to situations with their brain and not their emotions. It is easy to be in an argument and feel a lot of negative tension. The opposing person could say something you disagree with, and you become angry and lash out. But that’s not what you should be doing. While I acknowledge that this is difficult to do, I urge you to stay calm in highly tense situations and respond appropriately.
- Affirmations
Affirmations are usually associated with manifestation and while they play a role in a manifesting process, they also play a role in changing your everyday mindset. There are certainly people who dismiss the value in tarot cards and the universe’s guidance, but you don’t have to believe in those items to practice regular affirmation. Before I learned about my potential, I would always think negatively about myself and critique my insecurities. Once I understood my inherent worth, however, I began to look at myself in the mirror everyday and tell myself how I was truly beautiful and my entire perspective was altered. I have never felt so in touch with myself. I have never felt much love for myself. We have to become who we want to be, and a step to achieve that is changing your mental approach. What we give out is what we receive.
- Learn to LET GO
There has been so much happening in my life recently that has been flooding my mind and has left no space for silence or peace. That’s when I realized that I shouldn’t have to look at how much time or energy I devoted to something as a reason why I should have to stay. If it’s not bringing you happiness now or in your future – whether it’s a relationship or position at work – don’t wait for it to change. Normalize and find comfort in letting go of the things that aren’t making you happy anymore. People come and go. When a person leaves your life, understand that this can be a redirection, not a loss.
- Protect your ENERGY
A well-known advocate for mental health, TheWizardLiz, said it best, but when I’ve been depressed, I noticed the thoughts I was thinking were not what they should’ve been. They weren’t my thoughts. When you’re stuck in your past trauma, you’re vibrating on a low energy level and it’s easier for negative energy to clasp onto you. When you’re vibrating at a high frequency, however, you’re working towards bettering yourself and healing, finding positivity and joy in life again. You must pay attention to your thoughts and subconscious decisions. Decide if they will be good for you.
Don’t fear things that were never meant for you. Just because something happened to someone else, doesn’t mean it’s also going to happen to you. When you’re afraid of something happening to you and you constantly have the idea that it will, it will manifest itself. When the fear of this event transpiring is living in your head, you’re materializing the occurrence without it even existing. Fear is a strong emotion, if not the strongest.
- Learn to put yourself FIRST
Putting yourself first is the #1 priority – this goes for school, work, friendships, etc. When I was in my last relationship, I would always think about how lucky I was to have my partner, and initially put all my focus and energy into him. He advised me to do this too, that I should begin to focus and love myself too. So when we broke up, I began to work on myself and put my needs first. Even though there was nothing wrong with the relationship, it is about identifying what I need in order to change for the better and to be happier. To do what’s right for me.
I’ve been wanting to go out, get closer with friends, and feel joy, and that’s what I’m striving to do now. But when I was in a relationship, I only thought about him; my thought process was, “I’m just with him, it’ll be okay.” He wasn’t telling me to stay home, in fact he encouraged me to go out and have fun. My thoughts were constantly occupied by him, to a point where I’d often consider, “what is he thinking about…is he thinking about me…what if he’s not” and it made me feel extremely bad about myself. TheWizardLiz remarked that “I’m at a point in my life where I wouldn’t even date myself… I don’t think I have a healthy pattern when it comes to dating because I always put my partner first. And until I fix this problem, I don’t think I should be dating at all.” Now that I know what I need and want in my life, I’ve been able to nurture power that I didn’t have before.
The ten ways that have been outlined serve as a way to start your journey. I was able to heal from my traumas and have successfully been working towards self-improvement and fulfillment. By acknowledging the importance of mental well-being alongside physical appearance, people can embark on a more comprehensive and rewarding path of personal growth.
Remember, you matter.
