Two Sundays ago, two teams filled with the best players in the league went head to head. Michael Vick, Michael Turner, and Adrian Peterson were on the same team! Phillip Rivers, Peyton Hillis, and Jamaal Charles were on the same team! The teams had epic lineups filled with Veterans and Rookies alike. The perfect offense vs. the perfect defense. And it sucked.
As a kid I always thought the Pro Bowl was the coolest event in the world, but as I have matured as a sports fan I have lost all interest. It baffles me why no one cares. It baffles me why I don’ t even care. Football is by far my favorite sport, and yet I am much more inclined to watch the MLB All-star Game or the NBA All-star game.
It got me thinking, what is so wrong about the Pro Bowl? To do this, I thought about what’ s right about the NBA All-Star game and I came up with one easy answer: The Slam Dunk Contest. Then I thought, what entertains people most about the MLB All-star game? Easy answer again: The Home-Run Derby. What would the average American rather watch: A hockey game or a shootout? Shootout. And that is the solution to the Pro Bowl: add gimmicky competitions the day before that people will watch. Here are some suggestions to the NFL to increase their ratings the weekend before the Super Bowl:
The TD Catch Contest: Structured very similarly to the slam dunk contest, this competition pits the best wide receivers in the league against each other to see who can make a reception in the end zone in most amazing fashion. Competitors are judged based on their originality and athletic ability. I can already picture Desean Jackson doing a backwards somersault and catching the ball while falling out of bounds. Then years from now, as the contest evolves, Titus Young will scramble up the goal post, jump off and catch the ball behind his back.
Field Goal Contest: This one brings out something people have wanted to see for a long time: an actual way of telling who the best kicker in the NFL is. Never before have David Akers and Mason Crosby gone directly against each other. Who doesn’ t want to see Sebastian Janikowski go up against Ryan Succop in a competition that isn’t for the best name in the NFL? The kicks would start at the 20-yard line and move back 5 yards after everyone gets a shot. The line keeps moving back as kickers are eliminated when they can’t quite make that 60-yard field goal. It keeps going back until people really get excited when some is attempting an 80-yard field goal. That would certainly get my attention. Alternatives to this include a Punting Distance Contest (in which Punters try to get the lowest score possible where the score total is the yards away from the end zone where the ball is downed) or the Kickoff Contest (in which kickers try to get as touchbacks as possible in a manner similar to that of the Homerun Derby).
O-Line Sumo: This is what everyone has been waiting for. The best pancakers in the league (sounds delicious) go head to head in a tournament of protection champions. You could go silly and have them wear traditional sumo-wrestling garb, or they could be legitimate and just go up against each other in full pads. The 10 starting offensive linemen in the Pro Bowl as well as 6 alternates are entered into a tournament. The goal of each individual match is to push your opponent out of a circle by using sheer strength and pushing capabilities.
100 Yard Dash: Simple enough, but more exciting than the usual 100-yard dash. Structured similarly to the races in the Olympics, Runnningbacks, Wide Receivers, and speedy Quarterbacks will be placed in groups of 4 and winners move on until they reach the final race.
TD Reception Shootout: Teams of 5 consisting of a Quarterback, a Wide Receiver, an O-Lineman, a D-Lineman and a Safety. The offense of one team goes against the defense of the other and tries to complete a Touchdown Pass. Then they switch sides and the other team tries to score. 5 chances each, if after 5 the score is tied: Sudden Death.
Among these are also some fun contests such as: A Videotaping contest between Josh McDaniels and Bill Belichick, a hair growing contest between Troy Polumalu and Tom Brady, a staring contest between Brian Dawkins and Ed Reed, and a nicest-smile contest between Donovan McNabb and Peyton Manning.
Get the coaches involved with: a freak-out contest between Jim Mora and Dennis Green, a long-awaited boxing match between Andy Reid and Mike Holmgren, and a look-alike contest where someone out there tries to take down the ultimate Tony Dungy-Herm Edwards duo.
All the kidding aside, what the Pro Bowl lacks is some form of gimmicky entertainment that Americans love. One could argue that football does “need” that kind of gimmick and that it detracts from the sport, but really, it doesn’t. All something like this would do would increase the viewership of the Pro Bowl and give football fans something exciting to watch the week before the Super Bowl.