Why Jake Diamond-Reivich is cool: He is possibly the most succinct person in all of Harriton, a rare trait in our dear school. His short answers to these questions are a tease– we want to know more about this kid. But this is all we have for you this week, Harriton.

Emily: Are you a harsh critic?

Jake: No, I’m not a harsh critic, but that is one of the stupidest questions of all time.

Emily: Okay so you’ll love this one. Can there be happiness without sadness?

Jake: Wow, that’s deep, but I’m going to say no.

Annika: Would you control minds or matter if you had the choice?

Jake: Isn’t the mind already a thing?

Tess: You don’t get to ask the questions. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Jake: Six and three quarters.

Tess: Describe your music listening to habits.

Jake: They usually involve an iPod and headphones.

Emily: Do you actually understand math?

Jake: No, my fund of knowledge concerning math ran out when we did Diamond problems in CPM.

Annika: Do you actually understand the stock market?

Jake: Not at all, I put all my money in Blockbuster and Zune.

Annika: What name do people say you look like?

Jake: I don’t know about names, but people say I look like Mr. Joseph (the music teacher).

Conclusion: A member of a trio of brothers here at Harriton, a reportedly awesome drummer, and, as shown, a kid who gets to the point, Jake Diamond-Reivich is clearly a cool kid. We are intrigued: what are his brothers like? Stay tuned; we promise you’ll find out soon.