The Ana-lyzer: Falling For Someone With Different Political Views

Can It Work?

Ana Mihaila, Staff Writer

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Have you ever gotten heartbroken when a hard ‘four’ rejects you after six months of “exclusive, but not dating”? Have you ever gotten upset when your crush from math class leads you on and then gaslights you into thinking he never liked you?

Yeah, me too––crazy. But it’s okay. Take some time to open that second box of tissues and read my first and new addition to The Harriton Banner. I am Ana Mihaila, the Ana-lyzer, and your favorite hopeless romantic who can do a fantastic hair flip and perfect winged eyeliner any day of the week.

In the first edition, we are covering an issue that can be found at all stages and ages of relationships: dealing with a partner that has different political views than you. Not as serious as you might have thought, I know, but it is still an issue that even my mom, a devoted Democrat, has to deal with her lover, a burly Republican who has a fiery, yet likable, personality.

One of The Banner’s readers feels especially frustrated when this happens: 

He keeps getting worked up and complaining “you obviously don’t understand what I’m saying, you obviously didn’t hear what I was saying’ etc.. and eventually I was feeling very upset at his words and anger, mostly about his racist comments. He knows how I feel about racist comments so why would he expect me to even sympathize?”

So I know what you’re thinking: “this is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. Just change his views, girl, and if he doesn’t appreciate it, get out!”

And while that is an interesting way of looking at it, a better approach would be to come from a place of empathy rather than anger. 

You can either be right or be happy. You can either sacrifice your relationship and create a tense situation just so you can prove that you are right, or you can back down and relax for the sake of both your sanities.

Whenever a political argument sets off, it is important to communicate your boundaries and that you understand the other’s views. If there seems to be no middle ground, say that it’s not a good idea to talk about it right now.

But what if the other’s political views aren’t JUST political?

Well, thank you for that question, trusty reader. If it seems as though politics are bleeding through all parts of the other’s life, and now into yours, you should probably rethink being with this person.

If the other obviously doesn’t have compassion for how you feel when they want to crank up 50 AC’s and use as many plastic bags as they can carry, then ‘Good Luck Charlie!’ But really, sit down with yourself and evaluate if this is the kind of person you want in your life.

It might be difficult, but separating would be in service of finding someone who shares the same core values as you.

And if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay to go to those Climate Strike rallies alone—the world won’t stop for teenage love!