Pope Benedict XVI accessed Twitter this past week, an impressive feat given his peer group (both clerical and generational). Though he has not yet tweeted from his new account, @pontifex, he still carries half a million followers. The Vatican has reported that he will begin tweeting to the public on December 12.

The Banner, however, has inside access to his “drafts” folder. Highlights are as follows:

@pontifex: “HelLO TwITTER”
@pontifex: “Twttt teiettter hwo do i do thiss”
@pontifex: “I AM POPE HEAR ME ROAR”
@pontifex: “pope pope peope pope wowwow i havev intretnet!!!”
@pontifex: “note to self: do not tweet about church covering up sex scandals”
@pontifex: “dear brother, I am writing to invite you to follow me on Tweet.”
@pontifex: “oh no that wasn’t gmail was it.”
@pontifex: “One day I’m going to copy someone’s tweet word for word and see if anyone notices”
@pontifex: “LOL @ GAGNAM STYLE!!!! WE GOTTA MAKE A VATICAN VERSION OF THIS!!”
@pontifex: “does this rosary make me look fat?”
@pontifex: “Hello, world!!! My name is Benedict, but you can call me Holy Father.”
@pontifex: “but really hello to the world i want to give you all a hug”
@pontifex: “can’t wait for mass tomorrow!!! it’s going to be a party!!! WHOO CHURCH!”
@pontifex: “omg! get it because he’s MY GOD hahahahaha papacy”

Will these all be published come December 12? His drafts may remain a secret to all but The Banner‘s readers. Follow the Pope on Twitter (@pontifex) to find out!

Follow The Harriton Banner on Twitter (@harritonbanner) for things even MORE exciting than being the head of the Holy Roman Empire!